By Staff
Coaching Management, 9.8, November 2001, http://www.momentummedia.com/articles/cm/cm0908/bbhousecall.htm
Parent-teacher conferences have long been a staple of our education system. And college coaches have traditionally visited the homes of high school student-athletes they hope to recruit to their schools. But home visits between a high school coach and his players' parents? They've been a rarity, at least until Tom Bailey came along.
Bailey, Head Coach at Rich South High School in south suburban Chicago, spends a couple of months each winter making home visits to all of his student-athletes. He takes 30 minutes to meet with each player's parents, explaining the player's role in the program and what is expected of him in the offseason.
He also has an evaluation form that covers academic performance, behavior, attendance, strengths, weaknesses, and goals, with space for the parents, student, and himself to make both positive and negative comments before all the parties sign the form. Players who don't live up to the agreement likely will find themselves on the bench.
Bailey has been making annual home visits to parents since 1997--a period that covers head coaching jobs at three high schools. "I had been head coach at Homewood-Flossmoor High School for a couple of years," he says. "The school had won a state championship in 1994 when I was defensive coordinator, but the program had slipped a bit, so I felt the need to do something else to make a difference.
"I increasingly felt that the role of the coach in relationship to the kid and his parents was really becoming quite demanding," he continues. "Parents weren't realizing exactly how their kids were doing at school, so I needed to create a vehicle where we could all be on the same page and let honesty prevail."
After the 1996 season, Bailey gathered a wide range of information on each of his players, including visits to the dean's office, problems with teachers, attendance in offseason weight-room workouts, and grades. He then started arranging home meetings with each player's parents.
"I sat down with the parents and the kid and laid out all the documentation," he says. "In some cases, it was difficult because parents were totally clueless. They'd look at their kid and say, 'Is this true?'
"Before these meetings--and this is something a lot of coaches face--the parents had only heard the kid's side of the story," Bailey continues. "But this allows both sides to be heard. The kids get to talk, but both I and the parents hear it. And if he doesn't tell the truth, I stand up and say, 'Your son is lying. Do you want to believe what I've seen and what other teachers are documenting, or your son?'
While Bailey relies on documentation to buttress his case, he's open to discussion of sensitive issues. "We're not infallible as coaches," he says. "Sometimes I've perceived a kid having problems with attitude, but when we talk it out, I realize maybe I wasn't looking at it objectively and need to back off a bit."
Bailey is quick to emphasize that he does not have these meetings just to lay down the law. "There's a positive part to every meeting," he says. "I'm an educator, so I'm not going in just to lambaste the kids. When I meet the parents, I tell them that I want their kid in the program, but that I need their help."
For other coaches considering the idea of conducting home visits, Bailey has some advice. "The first thing you need to do is to alert the players as to what you'll be doing and when you'll be doing it," he says. "Then make some phone calls to set up the meetings. I like to do three per night. I usually select one kid who's a model kid, then pick a problem student--someone I want in my program, but who will have to make some changes --and an average kid.
"You also need to have an agenda, with pointed issues that you need to address," he continues. "Then leave it at that. Don't stay longer than a half hour--you'll get all the issues covered. Any thing after that is not worth your time."