Starting Over

At some point, most coaches have thought about quitting their jobs. How do you know when it’s time to find another school? And what do you do when you get there?

By Lem Elway

Lem Elway just completed his first year as Head Baseball Coach at Black Hills (Wash.) High School and Head Football Coach at Rochester (Wash.) High School, where he teaches special education. A member of the Washington State Coaches Hall of Fame, he has coached sports at the middle school, high school, and college levels, including baseball, basketball, and football.

Coaching Management, 13.6, August 2005, http://www.momentummedia.com/articles/cm/cm1306/startingover.htm

You’ve just finished an incredibly tough season and you’re ready to throw in the towel. The athletes didn’t seem motivated, their parents drove you crazy, and your athletic director was off playing golf whenever you needed a helping hand. You’re about to hand in your letter of resignation, but then again, you’re not really sure you want out. You do love coaching—working with the kids and the thrill of the competition.

Ever have a season like that? Most all of us have at some point in our coaching careers. How do you decide whether it’s time to leave and start over?

I recently left the school where I’d been coaching for 16 years. It was a difficult decision, but one that was ultimately in my best interest. It took a lot of reflection, thinking about my options, and getting ready for new challenges. But here I am, at age 58, a rookie head coach in a new school with more energy than I’ve had in years.

What Went Wrong?
There are many reasons that might make a coach want to resign. Sometimes it is because a painful situation arose with parents. Maybe the time commitment has become too overwhelming. For some, lack of support from administration and a shrinking budget is the impetus. Others just feel they’ve lost their passion for coaching and are not sure why.

Before you turn in that resignation letter, it’s important to reflect on why you are thinking about calling it quits. A critical and unemotional look at the situation is essential to making the right choice. This is the only way to figure out if you truly want to quit coaching altogether, if you should move to another school, or if you just need to change some of your strategies before the next season starts. Here are some areas to think about:

Parents: When I started coaching, parents rarely dared to question my decisions and were quickly told to mind their own business if they did. Today, working with parents is a big part of the job, and it can run even a veteran coach ragged.

If you are thinking about moving to another school because of issues with parents, you should know that parents in another district are probably not going to be much different. Every team has parents who will question your decisions, overprotect their children, and not understand the greater good. The simple truth is you need to embrace working with parents if you want to continue coaching.

However, some schools are better at supporting their coaches through parent problems than others. If your current administration does not back you up in parental disagreements, you might want to look for one that will.

This issue can be especially sensitive when it comes to disciplining athletes who break school or team rules. One of the reasons I left my former school was that I was verbally attacked after the administration disciplined five seniors from my team who were caught breaking the team no-drinking rule. Some of the parents of these student-athletes were relentless in trying to get me fired. Although the administration backed me and I stayed at the school for another five years, the negativity took its toll. Having a fresh start at a new school was what I needed to preserve my enthusiasm for coaching.

School Climate: Sometimes the environment of the school and athletic department make coaching difficult. A coach I know relocated after seeing his budget cut year after year and the administration not giving him the support he needed to do a good job. He found a position at a school with a strong athletic director and a community committed to high school athletics.

On the flip side, some coaches become frustrated with a climate that puts too much emphasis on winning. A new generation of parents who want the team to bring home a regional championship every year might not be your idea of a good time. If that’s more pressure than you want, then it may be time to say good-bye.

Time Commitments: Being a head coach is much more time-consuming than it was 10 years ago. If you aren’t spending enough time with your family, you’ve got a very good reason to take a break from coaching. Whether you’re juggling childcare with your spouse or taking your kids on weekend college visits, there are things in your family life that you can’t afford to miss.

In most cases, you can return to coaching when the time is right. Even if your old job has gone to someone else, there will be opportunities to coach in just about every community. I’ve seen head baseball coaches leave their post, then return to coach the team’s newly formed softball team. I’ve also seen former head coaches return as assistant coaches with great success.

Mistakes Made: This is hard to do, but it’s critical that you think about the mistakes you’ve made that contributed to the negative situation. We all make mistakes, but only those who can analyze their missteps will grow from them. Conduct a critical evaluation of yourself and write down what you could have done differently.

For example, maybe you didn’t make your expectations clear enough at the beginning of the season. Maybe you are struggling with evaluating the talent on your team. Maybe your strategies weren’t well thought out. Maybe you haven’t found the right balance of being strict yet understanding with your athletes. Maybe you tried to skirt parents’ questions instead of dealing with a situation. Maybe you neglected to ask for help when you needed it.

Be honest with yourself about the mistakes you’ve made. And then be honest about figuring out your role in avoiding similar problems in the future.

Is Repair Possible?: With a complete understanding of what went wrong and your role in the problem, you next need to think about whether the situation can be repaired. If you feel that, by doing some things differently next year, you can avoid the same problems, then write down your goals for how you want to change and stay where you are. In some cases, you might also need to talk to people to repair any damage done.

If you honestly don’t feel the problems will go away no matter what you do, then hand in that resignation letter and think about your next step: Do you stop coaching altogether or look for a new position? To help make this decision, think about going to practice next season at a new school: Are you pumped up as you imagine yourself meeting new players (and parents)? Or would you be forcing yourself to get excited at that first meeting? If the former is true, then keep reading.

Putting Out Your Resume
Before you decide to look for another job, understand that there is work to be done and decisions to be made. First of all, think about your parameters. “Is it possible to relocate or do I need to look for a job in the area? What are my financial needs? What are my family’s needs?”

Family considerations can not be overlooked. Having a family partnership is critical on a short- and long-term basis. In my recent coaching change, it was not until my spouse said she was ready to move that we made our decision.

Think about what you want in a job, as well as about your overall coaching goals. What has your current school taught you about job satisfaction? What has it shown you about finding a work environment that suits you? What have you learned about the qualities to look for in your next athletic director?

Once you know what you want, start researching and networking. I found it helpful to talk to other coaches at schools that had openings and in communities I was interested in moving to. I asked them about working with the athletic director and other administrators, how problems with parents are handled, what type of students attend the school, and whether the coaches on staff get along.

Next, get your resume in order. Make sure all job-appropriate information is included, and provide a list of personal recommendations for employers to contact. Review your interview skills, making sure obvious questions have been studied and your answers practiced. Talk to others who have recently gone through the process for tips. For example, in today’s world, questions about handling parents and program philosophy are at the top of the list. Make sure you have practiced answers to a list of possible high-priority interview questions.

Finally, remember the two golden rules about changing jobs: Don’t leave a job until you have another one in hand, and don’t let everyone know what you are doing until you have the relocation plans in place. This can be very hard, but is important in case you can not find another job quickly.

New Coach on the Block
Once you have secured a new position, plan to work hard to get off on the right foot. When taking leadership of a program, there is much to learn and communicate.

To start, establish relationships with as many people as you can:

• Meet with prospective athletes to introduce yourself and learn about their goals and objectives.

• If possible, meet with the former coach of the team to get his or her perspective on the history of the program.

• Meet teachers, counselors, and secretaries in the building to establish professional relationships.

• Establish lines of communication with parents who are involved with your program in any way. Make sure there are multiple ways they can contact and communicate with you.

• Meet with local radio and newspaper outlets to introduce yourself and facilitate ways to satisfy their needs.

• Attend as many school and community activities as possible to show your support for other programs.

• Meet with the booster club to get members’ sense of the program and begin to work on projects together.

• Meet with “feeder” coaches to provide leadership, information, and support for their programs.

• Talk to the principal and administration about the issues they see as important.

As you talk with people, find out the history of the sport at the school and any significant issues from the past. This will give you an important perspective that will help guide your decision making. For example, understand why the former coach left and what people liked and disliked about him or her. Get a sense of whether the best athletes at the school are involved in your sport, and if not, why not. Find out how problems have been handled in the past and how parents have responded.

It’s also a good idea to understand the coaching dynamics in your new school. As time passes, you can put your personal touch on the program to reflect your style, but to start, follow the standards set by veteran coaches. For example, if tidy uniforms are important to the coaches of other sports, make sure your kids are tucking in their shirts and looking sharp. If coaches are supposed to follow the lead of a booster club president, then don’t step on anyone’s toes.

Other things to find out:

• Do the best athletes play multiple sports?
• What is the success level of other sports at the school?
• What outside influences in the community are related to athletics and your sport?
• Do players participate in club sports during the off-season?
• How strong is the involvement and support of parents?
• What are the expectations of your program from the athletes, school, and community?

If there are assistant coaches to be hired, work with your athletic director to get the best folks on board. If possible, have a veteran coach of another sport help you with the details of the program. If you’re hiring all new assistants, make sure to do your homework on prospects. Conduct thorough interviews and check references.

Start the season by communicating your expectations to athletes. Some coaches draw a line in the sand about rules, but when starting new, it often works best to set some guidelines, and then adjust gradually. As a new coach, your rules might contradict the past, so you must use diplomacy to make the transition effective. Starting a new program means selling your procedures, expectations, and philosophy, which can’t be rushed if done right.

In addition, don’t assume anything. It’s easy to forget about all the little things that need to be addressed, but if they aren’t, frustration and anxiety can result. For example, when I took over here at Black Hills, cell phones and CD players became a big issue. I’d always allowed CD players on the bus, but not on the bench. At first, when players brought them on the bench, I was surprised. However, instead of getting angry, I quickly explained why CD players were banned from the bench.

Another example is the role of seniors. Some new coaches like to work only with the younger players and think toward the future. Here at Black Hills, I elected to work with the seniors and make them the leaders. My attitude was that, as long as they hustle, provide enthusiasm, and are coachable, I would find a playing spot for them. My number one priority was to improve the attitude of the program, and I felt it would work best if the seniors could help. Whatever you do, remember that how you handle seniors is important.

It’s also critical to explain your expectations to parents. A parents’ meeting needs to occur a month or so before the start of the season, at which time you cover all aspects of your program’s operations, expectations, and procedures—including discipline. This can easily be the most important meeting for your program. It puts you in a proactive mode and opens the lines of communication. Parents must be encouraged to ask questions, and they should receive good, clear answers.

Starting over can be a painful or exhilarating experience. To make it a rewarding one, take the time to think deeply about your desires and your options. Then, have an organized, systematic approach, stay positive, and communicate well. The future is in your hands.

For a look at Lem Elway’s previous articles in Coaching Management on working with parents, setting goals, and fundraising, search “Elway” at our Web site: www.AthleticSearch.com.